Tomorrow is the day I put my REAL big-girl panties on and go see the world. Well, at least a significant portion of it - Europe. To say I have no idea what to expect is an understatement. As a virgin to international air travel and such, my notions of what Europe's fair land has to offer is nothing short of a garbled assortment of cliches and cringe-worthy interpretations of cultures I have no idea about.
Well no REAL idea. Although various sources (read: TV) have given me a few ideas.
I have visions of dropping my dorpie-accent (Slundon English, shudder), putting on a beret and wandering around quaint European villages with my nose in the air and excitement about my eyes. Unfortunately, I was last in the 'Eat-Neatly and Be Graceful' queue so I will probably be that awkward tourist with those "comfy walking shoes", a siff puffy jacket and wild eyes as I pillage the whole of Europe's cheese and wine supplies like a deranged lunatic let into the sunshine for the first time. Plus my nose is too flat to actually be "in-the-air" so to speak. I would have to walk around with my head almost touching my spine to achieve the illusion of such things.
I have promised my friends and family that I will be careful, and, although I have NOT watched 'Taken' (be the next person to tell me to watch it, go on, I dare you), I do understand the dangers of being a small town, 1,4m high tourist in the mecca of all of things touristy. I promise to not do drugs (eish - I'll be in Amsterdam for a large portion of the trip), go off with strangers to wild warehouse parties (isn't that the whole point of going to Europe?) or accept proposals of marriage from Italian locksmiths (a real concern of my boyfriend's).
Oh, and I would be flat-out lying if I promised to wear that GOD-awful fanny pack everyday. I would rather risk appearing to have misshapen-shaped breasts and shove my passport in my bra everyday than be on of those tourists.
And if all goes well, I should return to South Africa in two month's time a little more worldly, a lot more experienced, and hopefully, not completely broke. But if I am broke, then at least carrying a suitcase filled to the brim with kitsch fridge magnets and Eiffel Tower memorabilia. And maybe one of those miniature ponies from Holland, if he keeps quiet during the flight.
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