If you are an Office fan (American series, NOT the British one), then you will understand my love for and appreciation of the interminably hilarious Dwight Schrute. If you live under a rock and thus do not watch The Office (this is inexcusable), then let me enlighten you.
Dwight Schrute is the funniest character that was ever born out of American television.
Raised on an Armish beet farm, Dwight has no sense of style (see Exhibit A) and an even less defined sense of tact.
His beauty lies in his ego-maniacal ploys to take over the office of Dunder and Miffelin, a paper company in Scranton (Pennsylvania), and what ensues is the funniest tv series in the world, maybe the universe.
What follows is an account of the top 10 funniest Dwight Schrute quotes. Enjoy.
- When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
- I am faster than 80% of all snakes.
- I don’t care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.
- I don’t believe you, continue.
- Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
- When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
- The eyes are the groin of the head.
- My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man
- Before I do anything I ask myself “Would an idiot do that?” And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.
- You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.
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